CNN
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Mandy Suess was certain the red-haired man she met at Oktoberfest was special.
When they’d said goodbye — right before this guy headed to the airport to catch his return flight to London — Mandy was struck by how happy she felt in his company. It was a type of happiness she hadn’t felt in years.
“I had a really good feeling,” is how Mandy puts it to CNN Travel today. “I felt optimistic and adventurous.”
As a week passed, then another. Mandy and the man from Oktoberfest exchanged a couple of emails. Their messages were flirty, friendly, intriguing. For Mandy, that unexpected feeling of optimism and excitement stuck around. An idea started to percolate in her mind.
Mandy decided she wasn’t going to wait around for the fates to conspire, hoping against the odds that their paths might cross again. She was going to make it happen — going to ensure they saw each other for a second time.
“I was determined,” recalls Mandy. “I said, ‘I’m going to go and find my ginger.’ And I got on a plane to go and find him.”
‘A celebration of love’
When Mandy met the red-haired guy at Oktoberfest, it was October 2001. Back then, German Mandy was 27, living in Munich, with her four-year-old son.
Mandy’s son’s father had never been in the picture, and from the moment her child was born, Mandy worked hard to give him the best life she could.
“I was a single mom and I was managing a restaurant together with a friend,” recalls Mandy. “I was still so young. Balancing work around a newborn was no easy feat.”
While there were tougher moments, Mandy counted herself lucky. She loved being a mother and loved her son.
“He was such a calm, easygoing baby, and he made our days together smoother than I could have imagined,” says Mandy. “I was incredibly blessed with a little boy who brought a sense of peace and light into our journey.”
When Mandy — who grew up in East Germany — moved to Munich in her late teens, she’d quickly fallen in love with the city’s annual Oktoberfest, the original and largest iteration of the popular beer festival.
Every year, millions of visitors descend on the German city, clad in lederhosen and ready to enjoy the carnival rides and convivial beer tents.
Mandy loved seeing her new hometown come to life over the multi-day celebration. “I was obsessed with Oktoberfest,” she says.
Mandy enjoyed all aspects of the festival — from dressing up in her dirndl to enjoying “heartwarming Bavarian folk music” — but it was the pervading atmosphere of “togetherness, joy” that appealed to Mandy the most.
For Mandy, this was epitomized in the festival’s romantic origin story. Munich’s Oktoberfest began back in 1810 as a citywide wedding celebration for the Crown Prince Ludwig of Bavaria’s marriage to Princess Therese of Saxe-Hildburghausen. It was a story Mandy never tired of hearing.
“Oktoberfest for me is a tribute to tradition and a story of enduring romance,” she says. “At its core, Oktoberfest is a celebration of love — of the royal couple, of Munich’s history, and of the joy of gathering with loved ones to share in the warmth of tradition.”
Given her passion for Oktoberfest, Mandy jumped at the opportunity to work at the festival’s 2001 event. In between restaurant shifts, Mandy moonlighted for an agency that offered hosting services for international corporate VIPs. It was a pretty easy gig.
“We would get the visitors from their taxi or car on arrival and bring them to their reserved areas, explaining the history of the beerfest on the way, making sure they safely arrived at their tables and got their first round of beers and food,” recalls Mandy. “And then that was it, we were usually done.”
An Oktoberfest meeting
One evening towards the end of the Oktoberfest fortnight, Mandy finished up her hosting duties and met up with a friend for the night. Mandy’s son was enjoying a sleepover at her sister’s house, so Mandy was excited to fully embrace the lively Oktoberfest atmosphere.
Mandy’s friend had her whole family in tow, including her elderly grandfather. The group sat down at one of the busy long tables in the bustling Löwenbräu beer hall and toasted Oktoberfest with a round of beers. Mandy was happy to spend time with her friend and relax, and as she glanced around the beer hall, she smiled when she saw groups of fellow revelers enjoying the evening.
Then, suddenly, she spotted a grinning guy at one end of her long table.
“Hey, can anyone on this table speak English?” he shouted.
Mandy, without really thinking, raised her hand.
And the next thing she knew, this guy was crawling under the table to reach her. It took a little while — Mandy was right at the other end of the hall. And then, suddenly, he popped up, next to her, still grinning.
Mandy couldn’t help but laugh. The guy, dusting off his knees, laughed too.
“Hey, I’m Rags,” he said. “It’s my birthday today.”
“I’m Mandy,” she said. “Happy birthday.” She cleared a bit of space on the bench next to her, and Rags sat down. He was wearing a bright blue T-shirt that said, “Super Drinker” in Superman-esque font. It was slightly too tight, riding up at the front.
This was undoubtedly a questionable fashion choice, but Mandy let it slide. She was instantly intrigued by Rags — even as she wondered if she’d heard his name right.
“I just thought, ‘Oh my gosh. There’s a gorgeous ginger man,’” recalls Mandy today, laughing. “Then we tried to have a conversation — which was tricky, partly because of the noise — but also he didn’t speak any German, and my English wasn’t great.”
Rags explained to Mandy he’d gotten separated from the friends he’d come with, a gang of guys from the UK also wearing identical “Super Drinker” T-shirts. He had been looking for them — that’s why he was trying to find an English speaker, to ask if they’d spotted the group — but Rags seemed happy to abandon the search and share a beer with Mandy instead.
“I was quite smitten,” says Mandy. “He was charming and warm, with a cheeky smile, and that unmistakable, endearing ginger hair that made him stand out in the best way.”
While Rags lived in London, he was originally from New Zealand.
“I had a four-year working visa, so I was over in the UK, just to travel and see things,” Rags tells CNN Travel today.
His full name, Rags attempted to explain to Mandy, was Bradley Ryan – Rags was a nickname he’d picked up as a kid that “just stuck.”
“It comes from Brad — Bradley, Radley, Rags…” he told her.
Mandy couldn’t quite see the correlation, but she laughed. And if Mandy was pretty instantly “smitten,” Rags was equally enamored.
As he attempted to communicate with Mandy over the noise of the bustling beer hall, he recalls thinking she was “incredibly beautiful, and very easygoing, friendly.”
“She seemed amazing,” he says today.
Rags and Mandy spent the next few hours focused entirely on each other. Mandy’s friends — and her friend’s grandfather — smiled encouragingly and eventually left her to it.
“I got a few giggly side looks from the girls, but I didn’t really pay attention to anyone else from then on,” recalls Mandy.
Meanwhile, some of Rags’ friends eventually spotted him, and they introduced themselves to Mandy too. Rags noticed they seemed to approve, seemed a “little jealous even.”
As the evening went on, more beers were drunk, and Mandy and Rags shuffled closer and closer to each other on their bench. Rags mentioned he hadn’t really explored Munich yet, and Mandy suggested she could show him some of her favorite nightlife spots.
“So after Oktoberfest we went out to all these nightclubs and partied all night,” recalls Rags.
“We danced like mad,” says Mandy.
The two stayed out into the early hours. But then “it was over quite abruptly,” as Mandy puts it.
“I was suddenly like, ‘I need to open up work.’ Meanwhile, Rags needed to jump into the car with his friends and go back to London. We both got flung into reality quickly.”
Rags accompanied Mandy to her restaurant, where she fiddled with the keys to open the doors and where they said goodbye — reluctantly and quickly — only just remembering to share email addresses before parting ways.
But an hour or so later, when Rags was in the rental car with his friends heading to the airport, he kept talking about “this really amazing German girl.” He found himself regretting that he and Mandy left things so open-ended.
“We’ve got time before the flight,” said one of Rags’ friends, suggesting he could go back to the restaurant and tell her how he felt.
“So we drove around Munich a little bit trying to find the restaurant again, but I had no clue where it was,” says Rags. “All the buildings looked the same. Eventually I gave up. And I went back to London.”
A surprise visit
While Rags and Mandy exchanged a couple of friendly, flirty emails in the following weeks, Rags didn’t expect their connection to go anywhere.
“I didn’t think I’d ever see her again, so I was just carrying on with normal life,” he says. “But I still kept telling everyone how I’d met this amazing German girl.”
And then, out of the blue, Rags got an email from Mandy stating she was coming to London to see him for the weekend. Her flights were booked, her hotel room reserved and she was leaving that night.
Rags couldn’t believe it. He read the email, then reread it again.
“The night she arrived, I was going to a ZZ Top concert,” Rags recalls. He was a big fan of the American rock band, and he’d had the tickets for a while — so he decided to go anyway.
But as soon as the gig finished, Rags rushed across town to find Mandy.
“I raced to the hotel, and I just met Mandy walking out of the hotel — she didn’t think I was going to turn up, but I met her at the doorway of the hotel.”
Mandy and Rags almost collided into each other. And when they saw each other again, they both laughed. Mandy had already realized her spontaneous decision to fly to London to find Rags was maybe “a bit stupid.” But there was no denying how happy he looked to see her.
“It was quite special,” she says of the moment they reunited.
“After that, I took Mandy all around London and showed her all the sights. It was great — two days running around in London in the rain, we had an amazing time,” says Rags.
“It was just really comfortable and really chill,” is how Mandy describes the weekend.
While Mandy and Rags’ Oktoberfest meeting was slightly fuelled by beer, this time round they didn’t drink much. Instead, they got to know each other more deeply, through long conversations over food, and walking around London’s rainy streets hand-in-hand.
“I really liked that he was good at listening. But he also had a lot to say, and quite interesting angles and thoughts on things. And super funny,” says Mandy.
Rags returned to Munich to visit Mandy a couple of weeks later, and Mandy visited him in London again that December.
There was never a formal, “let’s start dating” conversation, as Mandy puts it.
“But we kinda considered it a deal from my second visit to London,” she says. “I felt so at home with him.”
Becoming a father figure
While Mandy felt pretty confident in her future with Rags, she took her time introducing him to her son.
“We took things very slowly, being mindful of how a father figure might impact his life,” says Mandy. “He never had a dad whatsoever.”
While Mandy had always made sure her son “had positive male role models around — close friends, who played important roles” — she knew Rags entering her son’s life was different.
“Introducing Rags was a gradual, thoughtful process,” says Mandy.
This first meeting happened in Spring 2002, some six months or so after Mandy and Rags first met in Munich.
Rags and Mandy’s son seemed to click instantly.
“They just got on like a house on fire. My son absolutely adored him from day one,” says Mandy.
Rags says the first time he met Mandy’s son he “didn’t have any idea what to expect.” He didn’t have kids, and didn’t have any friends with children at that stage. But they immediately started playing games outside, establishing an easy rapport.
“He did seem to like me,” says Rags, who says becoming a father figure was an easy, natural process, and he wasn’t daunted by the prospect.
“There was no other dad in the picture so I kinda naturally wanted to fill that gap once I had met the little one,” he says.
For Mandy, watching Rags and her son connect was the final piece of the puzzle.
“Watching them build their own bond over time brought a deep sense of comfort and joy,” she reflects.
She really felt like meeting Rags at Oktoberfest was meant to be.
“Still, I probably would have preferred to meet somebody that came from the same postcode,” adds Mandy, laughing.
Juggling the long distance between Germany and the UK was complicated, and the solution was unclear. Mandy was also conscious Rags’ time in the UK had an enddate.
“It was a mission and a half being so far away,” she says. “London wasn’t so bad at the time, but then the reality is that New Zealand’s on the other side of the world…”
In 2003, after almost two years of traveling back and forth, Rags spent an extended period in Munich, living with Mandy and her son. Then Rags, Mandy and Mandy’s son briefly lived in London together. It was a step in the right direction, but neither city felt quite right.
In Munich, Rags struggled because he didn’t speak much German. Meanwhile, Mandy found London expensive and alienating.
So Mandy and Rags started to talk through other options. Rags’ UK visa was due to expire and he’d only intended to stay in the UK for a few years. He extolled the virtues of New Zealand — not just incredible landscapes but a higher quality of life for Mandy and her son. Mandy was sold, and the couple started planning a move across the globe.
Then, as their move date approached, the couple were delighted to discover Mandy was pregnant.
In September 2004, Mandy and Rags settled in Hamilton, on New Zealand’s north island. Some eight months later, they welcomed a daughter.
It was an exciting time – and Mandy was pleased that her son quickly adapted to the New Zealand way of life, making friends, reveling in time outside and enjoying the role of big brother.
“He loved it,” says Mandy.
“And he picked up English in a year,” adds Rags.
Life seemed to be as good in New Zealand as Rags had promised. The children were happy and settled. Mandy started a teaching degree, while Rags worked as an automotive technician.
And then, a few years later, the couple learned Mandy was pregnant again. They were thrilled at the prospect of welcoming another child to their family and excited for the future.
But when their daughter, Susie Karlotta, arrived, she was stillborn. Mandy and Rags were devastated.
“Losing Susie Karlotta shook us to the core,” says Mandy. “It was deeply traumatic and left a lasting impact on my mental health, as well as on our relationship and our small family.”
Rags recalls going from feeling “super excited to have another baby to utter disbelief once we saw her born sleeping.”
He describes his main emotion as “absolute shock” as he “tried to keep it together.”
“Thought ‘I need to block it out,’” says Rags. “Took a while before we really talked about it.”
“Navigating that kind of grief together wasn’t easy and took a very long time. Years actually,” says Mandy. “But Rags was unwavering. His loyalty, patience, forgiveness, and boundless love held us together when things were toughest or I was wanting to quit. Slowly, with his support, we found a way through the darkness.”
This was one of the “saddest times” in their lives, says Mandy. But as time went on, she says the couple “emerged stronger, with an even deeper bond.”
It was with this mindset that Mandy and Rags got engaged, in 2007.
Rags surprised Mandy with a ring while the two were comet-watching near their home in New Zealand. (“I’m majorly into everything space related,” says Mandy)
“We found a good spot and looked at the comet for a while and then he gave me the ring,” says Mandy. “He was so sweet. He is not a man of many words, so that was really nerve wrecking for him. Of course I said yes.”
“I was super happy,” says Rags.
The couple were married on January 5, 2008, in Gordonton, New Zealand, surrounded by friends and family.
“Our son was a groomsman and our then 2-year-old was a flower girl,” says Mandy. “The wedding itself was amazing. We had an amazing celebrant who helped get some elements of all our cultures into the ceremony, so it was a lovely mix of German, Jewish and NZ traditions with the music that was special to us. There was even some hard house and trance (types of music) at the reception.”
Rags echoes Mandy’s words, describing the wedding as the “best day ever.”
“Coolest day in my life,” he says. “My mates there. My bride was stunning. I was so excited that morning.”
“It was absolutely perfect,” says Mandy.
Adventuring together
Today, Mandy and Rags are still based in Hamilton, New Zealand. This year marks their 20th year living there together, some 23 years since they first met and 16 years of marriage and counting.
Mandy recently found herself reflecting on the fact she was now living the life she’d dreamed of back when she and Rags were first navigating long distance. She felt proud of how far they’ve come.
“The other day I said to Rags, ‘Hey, we’re doing it. We’re growing old together,’” says Mandy.
Their children are both adults now and enjoying exploring the world. Mandy now runs a consultancy business.
Meanwhile, Mandy and Rags recently embarked on a three-month trip exploring Europe together, just the two of them.
“We’d always talked about taking a big trip ‘one day,’ but something always seemed to come up,” says Mandy.
But as Mandy and Rags get a little older, they’re increasingly aware of the fleetingness of life — a sentiment that was reinforced when a couple of close friends of theirs passed away.
“We were reminded of how fragile life is,” says Mandy. “That’s what finally pushed us to stop waiting and just go for it.”
The couple’s big trip started in Turkey and then they worked their way across Europe from south to North, stopping off at multiple destinations.
“The adventure was everything we’d hoped for — and worth every bit of the planning and saving it took to get us there,” says Mandy.
Mandy and Rags’ trip concluded, appropriately enough, in Munich — where their love story began. While the timing didn’t coincide with this year’s Oktoberfest, Mandy bought a new dirndl and Rags purchased a new pair of lederhosen in preparation for a return trip.
“We’re going to do Oktoberfest one more time,” says Rags.
“We invested in the lederhosen, so we have to. Plus he looks great in the lederhosen,” says Mandy, laughing.
For Mandy, meeting the love of her life at Oktoberfest seems very apt — she always loved the romantic love story behind the festival, after all.
Rags says he just “can’t believe he met someone, amid all those people.” The tents were so crowded, he points out, what was the likelihood of him and Mandy running into each other?
“When I think about it, it’s quite a chance meeting,” he says. “Also, my lucky number is 28 and I always thought, years ago when I was small, ‘What will happen when I’m 28?’ And then I met Mandy on my 28th birthday, which is really mind-blowing.”
Rags says he’s so grateful for their family and life, “having so much fun together and love every day.”
“She has the biggest heart and is the most generous,” Rags says of Mandy. “She has this incredible entrepreneurial talent. She is a super quick learner. She is super brave.”
As for Mandy, she says she finds her love for Rags “hard to put into words.”
“He’s one of those truly good people — solid, kind,” she says. “He’s hardworking and gentle, with a quiet strength I admire more than I can say. His love for the kids is amazing.”
“He’s the kind of person who is always there, unwavering and supportive. I feel incredibly lucky to share my life with someone like him.”